Musical from Hell
by Your favorite little author
Summary: The charmed ones are being attacked by the dreaded plastic demon which has the power to turn them all into a twisted musical, singing their dirty lil' secrets
1. A New Demon

Disclaimer: I don't own charmed…Otherwise I'd probably be in my rich loxorius mansion with my rich luxious computer…instead of in this public library on a piece of crap computer..

New Authors note: Alrighty, so, I wrote this story a year or two ago and I just today went back to read it. I realized I hated how the format was set up and I never really explained a thing. So, this is a re-do.

Old Authors note:

This is like that episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer in which they all sing…only Charmed Style… You didn't have to see Buffy though to read this

Chapter One

A New Demon

In the Manor, the Charmed Ones were in the middle of fighting a pathetic lower-level demon when suddenly Piper broke into song:

How long will I live with this?

Am I destined to Abyss?

This really bites

My life only consist of fights!

She threw the potion she was holding at the demon, when Phoebe suddenly burst into song also.

How long will I live with this?

I really have to piss

But these demons keep stopping me

And I really have to peeeeeeee!

Paige looked at her insane sisters before finding herself taken into their song..

How long will I live with this?

I really wanna kill my sis!

Just let me get my machete

I'll aim it at her heady!

The demon sprinted around the girls gracefully

How long will I live with this?

Probably not loooooonnngg!

Oh damn I didn't rhyme

But at least they missed

Paige orbed the broken potion bits at the demon and he burst into colorful flames.

Later…

"Wait," Leo said laughing, "Reframe the story for me one more time"

"Yeah," Cole laughed in agreement

Piper glared at them both, "We sang okay? Not _that_ funny"

"Yeah," Pheobe nodded while filing her nails, "We started to sing and dance and stuff…but it wasn't that strange…like we were in some sort of bad 50's musical"

"It was real freaky," Paige shivered, "What do you think it could be?"

Music erupted from no where as Leo stood up proudly,

I'll go up to my beloved men,

I'll come back here with somethin'

To them I place all my trust,

The robes are just a plus!

He orbed away as Cole stood up also..

I'll go down to my beloved jerks

Bein' a demon sure has its perks

Maybe we'll have a group shower

And then afterwards we'll test our powers!

He pranced as he sang until he finally shimmered away.

The girls sat in stunned silence before Phoebe exploded, "Oh no! I turned him gay!"

Piper and Paige began to sing in unison:

You turned him gay!

What can we say?

Oh she's just so-

"Bite me" Phoebe mumbled before walking away.

Later, Piper sat in her room, singing and cleaning, when Leo appeared.

"The Elders said it was the Plastic Demon," Leo said as he sat on her bed

"Plastic Demon," Piper raised her eyebrows, "Never heard of him"

"Her," Leo corrected

"Great, let's go vanquish her," Piper said

Leo held up his hand, "Err…not that easy…she has invincible shields that protect her from potions, powers, and scrying"


	2. Piper moves out

Authors Note:

Upon being reminded that I have a fanfiction account, I also was reminded of my re-do, so here goes re-do chapter two (hey I rhymed xD )

Old Authors note: thanks for reviews:) And um this story doesn't have a specific setting in time

Cole came back from his trip to the underworld and sat down next to Pheobe who was now painting her nails with her blonde hair in curlers.

"Hey, hun," he greeted her with a peck on the cheek and laid down next to her

"Cole.." she said in her we're-about-to-discuss-something-very-serious voice, "I need to know…"

"Know?" He lifted an eyebrow

"Yeah…I need to know," she paused and sat down her nail polish, "Are you…gay?"

Cole looked around the room as if searching for something. "No.Whatmakesyousaythat?Didsomeonesaysomething?Did-" he began so frantically that his words meshed together

"Oh okay," Phoebe grinned obliviously to his franticness. After a few moments of silence she burst into song once again:

"_This man_

_I plan_

_To be with forever_

_Just me and him together_," she embraced him tightly,

Cole sat up, "_And with this man_-I mean woman…_I will forever adore_

_Even though she's a bore_-"

"Bore?" Phoebe screamed, "Excuse me?"

"Oops"

"Oops is right!

Ahem, _this is the man who wonders _

_Why I was in ponders_

_With the idea of wed_

_I'll tell you: It's his performance in bed!"_

"Excuse me?" Cole interrupted wide-eyed

"You heard me," she shrugged and walked out.

Elsewhere Paige was having a breakdown, and she was psychotically stabbing her dead sister's grave.

"_You bitch_

_(Mockingly) You we're such a good witch,_

_They miss you so_

_But why I do not know_

_You we're nothing but a prideful phony_

_But now all that's left of you is this little bony_

_And they wondered why you died way back when_

_Well, let's just say the source didn't send that assassin_!"

She continued stabbing and singing her song of hate and death while Piper and Leo talked back at the manor:

"This is getting annoying…_really_ annoying," Piper said tightlipped to her husband after she finished singing her song that was a very cheesy remake of _Somewhere Over The Rainbow_.

"well…The Plastic Demon is highly protected by her supershields," Leo said to his wife and pulled her down to sit with him, "just relax"

"But _Leo_," she stressed the name, "This shit is making me loose my sanity"

"Can't loose what you never had.." he mumbled under his breath

Piper glanced up at the ceiling in thought before breaking out in song once again:

"_I cannot stand_

_This is getting out of hand!"_

Leo went on from there_, "I can not stand her_

_She's a whiner and a complainer_!"

"I'm a what?"

"You're a nut!"

"Then call the white place on me!"

"Okay I will!"

Ten minutes later the nut house-retrieval team arrived with the straight jacket,

"_Come with us_

_Quit making a fuss!_

_Well take you and make you worst_,

I mean better! Oh screw it and tie her up who said we had to sing to her?"

-end-

Until next song! Or…story. Heh.


	3. Prue Alive?

Disclaimer: I do not own Charmed in anyway shape or form, although I do own this story, so if you take it be prepared to face my wrath. D: 

New Authors Note: Re-do for chap three! Enjoy!

Old Authors Note: Thankies for reviewing!

Piper sat dully in her white padded room she was placed in three days ago. Thus far, no one has come to rescue her from her hell. So, she had to make the best of her time.

"_No one really knows what I feel,_

_This pain has yet to heal._

_The wound in my heart_

_Is dying, in part,_

_My sole,_

_Shall never be whole._

_Never will it be_

_With my older sister still gone from me"_

Suddenly Prue materialized in front of her.

"Wha- Prue!" Piper jumped up and tried to embrace her sister but the jacket kept her away, "I thought you were dead!"

"Huh?" Prue asked only half-listening, she was enjoying a chocolate covered strawberry in one hand and a fruity drink in the other. "Damn it Piper why did you call me?"

"But…you…you're supposed to be dead" Piper said confused

Prue shook her head, "Nah…I just set that up for you guys so I could go to Hawaii and live with Andy"

"Andy..?" Piper shook her head dumbfounded

"Yeah we knew the whole family was insane so we jetted…" she finished her strawberry and took a sip of drink, "Well…bye!"

Suddenly Prue was gone just as quickly as she had appeared.

Back at the manor Paige was thumbing through a pile of her dead sisters old clothes that she had kept secretly in her closet beneath the whips and chains. She marveled at her complexion in the mirror with her dark-haired wig that resembled Prue's hair to an astonishing degree. "Call me…Prue," she said to herself in a sexy tone. Just then Leo burst into the room but froze when he saw Paige.

"Er…Paige?" he asked as she frantically through the wig across the room

"What?" she asked out of breath while trying to appear calm

"Riiighhtt," he said slowly before shaking his head, "Piper just called, she said Prue's alive"

"Alive?" Paige's eyes flashed red, "No!"

"No?" Leo furrowed his brows, "What do you mean?"

"No-nothing," she giggled nervously, "That's great…now go" she pushed him out and locked the door. Turning back to the mirror she growled.

"I know what you are planning"

"_You're trying to steal my sister away_

_I won't let you I say_

_I will grab my little gun_

_And then I'll watch you run_…"

She picked up her gun that was hidden in her panty draw along with many of Prue's old personal items and she orbed away.


	4. Pheobe continues to pamper herself

Disclaimer: Don't own Charmed

New Authors Note: Chap 4 re-do

Old Authors note: Thanks for reviews, you guys rock… You like me! You really like me! Oh! Lol thanks guys

Phoebe put more bubbles in her bath she was bathing in when suddenly Paige orbed in.

"Hey hun," Pheobe said as she continued pampering herself, "What's up?"

"Prue's back!" Paige said angrily

"Oh really?" Phoebe said uninterested, "Well isn't that just dandy?"

"So I'm going to kill her," Paige nodded triumphantly

"Yeah, yeah," Phoebe waved her away and closed her eyes- enjoying her bath. Paige grinned to herself and orbed once again.

Elsewhere

The source called Cole to him where Cole bowed, "I know the troubles you have gone through. The witch just might…turn you _straight_!" He began to get teary eyed but took a deep breath and continued as all the minions gasped with horror at Cole's _straightness_.

"And to this I must say: (... the italics is the minions and the source is the regular...)

I

_Arum_

_Arum_

Am the dark one

Arum 

And before the day is done

_Dark one! Dark one! Dark one! Rum!_

I will have the Charmed ones dead

(He blushed) and have my Cole return to-

Cole broke in, "Wait…so are you the one who has been sending the Plastic Demon after the girls?"

"Plastic demon?" he looked up thoughtfully as one of his demons proceeded to painting his nails pretty pink

"Yes…the one who makes people break into song," Cole pressed

"Hmm…" The Source looked proudly at his nails, "Oh! Doesn't this color bring out my eyes?"

"well…yes, it does," Cole blushed

"Oh yeah, the Plastic Demon!" he snapped his fingers, "That one is living up there, doing something with herself…"

"Do you have any idea why she would target the Charmed Ones?" Cole asked

"Hmm… Nope." He shrugged, "She quit killing and using her powers last that I heard, she's more involved in her hair these days I hear"

"Her…hair?" he repeated unsure he heard his master correctly

"Yes, yes. Her hair. I hear she's making tabloids everywhere over her hair…"

Cole's eyes shifted as he thought to himself of how his master has finally lost it. Sighing heavily he disappeared.

In the mental ward Piper was allowed to play outside for the day and she took the time happily. By the pond she played with her pebbles- each were lined up in a row according to texture, size, shape, and color.

"And I will name you Bob," she said to one of the new ones, she paused as if listening to something. "What's that? You don't like your name?" she gasped as if she were insulted and she threw the pebble as hard as she could, "Fine! Be that way!" After a few minutes her eyes began to swell with tears, "Oh Bob! I'm so sorry! COME BACK!" she ran off in the direction of her pebble.

-end-


End file.
